A really wise friend told me the other day that in grief, its ok to use the word “and.” Its ok to be in pain, and be happy. Its ok to be broken, and rejoice. And I think that principle can apply to hard seasons in general. To be able to say “DANG. This hurts. AND, I trust You, Father.”
I use to think that if I acknowledged the reality that I was struggling, then it meant I didn’t believe the truth about Father. So I would tie everything up with what I like to call my “But God Bow,” and I would deflect the severity of my pain. But recently I’ve found a lot of strength in that tiny little connecting word “and.”
I’m in pain, and I rejoice in being fully seen- not overlooked.
Surrendering my will is vulnerable, and You are worthy of it.
Having You expose my wounds is scary, and I trust You to heal me.
I feel crushed by the work You are doing in me, and I feel so deeply pursued and loved because of it.
I think there is a lot of power in the word “and.” I think it gives us permission to feel the fullness of where we are, and it allows us to genuinely respond to Holy Spirit’s work within us, while also holding on to the truth about His heart. The power of “and,” is that it keeps me safe from allowing my circumstances to define my theology about God’s character.
Father is always promising and journeying….I think He is literally speaking promise land under my feet with each step we take. And so when He cuts to the heart, its Him saying “Hey- this cant come into where we are going.” And dangit HE’S RIGHT. So I’ll be cut, and I’ll bleed for as long as I need to, and I’ll heal, and we will keep walking into His perfect promises.
